Old Ded Bob had a dysfunctional farm
(E-I, E-I, O)
And on this farm he had a dyslexic cow
(E-I, E-I, O)
With an "oom-oom" here and an "oom-oom" there
Here an "oom", there an "oom"
Everywhere an "oom-oom"
Old Ded Bob had a dysfunctional farm
(E-I, E-I, O)

And on this farm he had a nicotine addicted rooster
(E-I, E-I, O)
With a "cough, hack, puke, spit" here and a "cough, hack, puke, spit" there
Here a "cough, hack", there a "puke, spit"
Everywhere a "cough, hack, puke, spit"
Old Ded Bob had a dysfunctional farm
(E-I, E-I, O)


And on this farm he had a substance abusing bull
(E-I, E-I, O)
With a "snort-snort" here and a "snort-snort" there
Here a "snort", there a "snort"
Everywhere a "snort-snort"
Old Ded Bob had a dysfunctional farm
(E-I, E-I, O)


And on this farm he had a cat with multiple personality disorder
(E-I, E-I, O)
With a "meow-woof" here and an "oink-moo" there
Here a "squawk", there a "grunt"
Everywhere a "cluck-baa"
Old Ded Bob had a dysfunctional farm
(E-I, E-I, O)


And on this farm he had a flatulent bird
(E-I, E-I, O)
With a "tweet, poot" here and an "tweet, poot" there
Here a "tweet", there a "poot"
Everywhere a "tweet, poot"
Old Ded Bob had a dysfunctional farm
(E-I, E-I, O)


And on this farm he had a nymphomaniac pig
(E-I, E-I, O)
With a "boink-boink" here and an "boink-boink" there
Here a "boink", there a "boink"
Everywhere a "boink-boink"
Old Ded Bob had a dysfunctional farm
(E-I, E-I, O)


And on this farm he had a chicken with a crappy attitude
(E-I, E-I, O)
With a "Cluck you here" and a "Cluck you there"
Here a "Cluck", there a "yo